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Here is a page of insultsI just thought we could do with one

I just thought we could do with one

Image credit:LucasArts

Image credit:LucasArts

Insult swordfighting in Monkey Island, with the line “you fight like a dairy farmer”.

Insults are so serious, these days. They’re all soinsulting, whereas the kinds of insult I cherish are the ones that coax a belly laugh from both the roaster and the roastee. Here are a few stupid putdowns I’ve found or made up specially for Xmas, organised into tiers of savagery.Suggestions welcome! Good luck sneaking them past the Dread Automoderator, and apologies to whoever has to eventually update our list of banned keywords with entries like “gastropustule”. I’ll make additions and refresh the rankings over time. With any luck, this will cost us all many hours of gainful employment.You’re all a bunch of…S-TierFart custards, belch fanciers, and failed armpits…A-TierCheesewits and blunderbusybodies…B-TierHonkstewers, carping toilet seats, cone polishers and pseudonauts…C-TierGutterguards, bellowing yolks, soiled baguettes, hairy earfuls and barking dinosaurs…D-TierTonsils, trufflers, tricklehumpers and blown gaskets…E-TierSparkling prunes and cumberwalds, stinky dapplings and gastropustules…F-TierFootpads, salamanders, corpsers, quisbies and frisbees…Your turn.

Insults are so serious, these days. They’re all soinsulting, whereas the kinds of insult I cherish are the ones that coax a belly laugh from both the roaster and the roastee. Here are a few stupid putdowns I’ve found or made up specially for Xmas, organised into tiers of savagery.Suggestions welcome! Good luck sneaking them past the Dread Automoderator, and apologies to whoever has to eventually update our list of banned keywords with entries like “gastropustule”. I’ll make additions and refresh the rankings over time. With any luck, this will cost us all many hours of gainful employment.You’re all a bunch of…S-TierFart custards, belch fanciers, and failed armpits…A-TierCheesewits and blunderbusybodies…B-TierHonkstewers, carping toilet seats, cone polishers and pseudonauts…C-TierGutterguards, bellowing yolks, soiled baguettes, hairy earfuls and barking dinosaurs…D-TierTonsils, trufflers, tricklehumpers and blown gaskets…E-TierSparkling prunes and cumberwalds, stinky dapplings and gastropustules…F-TierFootpads, salamanders, corpsers, quisbies and frisbees…Your turn.

Insults are so serious, these days. They’re all soinsulting, whereas the kinds of insult I cherish are the ones that coax a belly laugh from both the roaster and the roastee. Here are a few stupid putdowns I’ve found or made up specially for Xmas, organised into tiers of savagery.

Suggestions welcome! Good luck sneaking them past the Dread Automoderator, and apologies to whoever has to eventually update our list of banned keywords with entries like “gastropustule”. I’ll make additions and refresh the rankings over time. With any luck, this will cost us all many hours of gainful employment.

You’re all a bunch of…

S-Tier

Fart custards, belch fanciers, and failed armpits…

A-Tier

Cheesewits and blunderbusybodies…

B-Tier

Honkstewers, carping toilet seats, cone polishers and pseudonauts…

C-Tier

Gutterguards, bellowing yolks, soiled baguettes, hairy earfuls and barking dinosaurs…

D-Tier

Tonsils, trufflers, tricklehumpers and blown gaskets…

E-Tier

Sparkling prunes and cumberwalds, stinky dapplings and gastropustules…

F-Tier

Footpads, salamanders, corpsers, quisbies and frisbees…

Your turn.