HomeNewsBaldur’s Gate 3
Baldur’s Gate 3 deserves better than these awful WizKids miniatures that look like they’d melt on a mildly temperate afternoonPlastic Missile
Plastic Missile
Image credit:Larian Studios
Image credit:Larian Studios
Look. Having basically sold both of my best standing legs to buy moreKingdom Death Monsterexpansions, I can’t bemoan anyone spending silly amounts of money on whatever plastic tat makes them happy. But I loveBaldur’s Gate 3, and it makes me sad to see all the wonderful art, writing, and acting that went into its characters reduced to $6 miniatures that look like their limbs would melt if I rubbed them between my thumb and forefinger.
Look how they plas-acred my boy:
Image credit:WizKids/Wotc
Okay, sure. The sculpts aren’t totally terrible in terms of silhouettes and detail, but at $25 for four randomised figures, I expect something a bit more, uh, good. Astarion above is from thebigger box set, which features all six origin characters, plus withers, for $50, or about £38. You’d have to go to a third party retailer, admittedly, but you could buy an entire 40K Kill Team for that. Don’t like Warhammer? Fine. You know who’d look much, much better on your D&D table, and also comes with four miniatures for about the same price? This guy:
Image credit:Goblin King Games
This is Boris The Bunny Summoner fromMoonstone, and he is but one of many beautiful miniatures they sell. Don’t like Boris? That’s fine. For the same price, you could get six halfling shieldmaidens riding walruses fromTT COMBAT. You cannot tell me this wouldn’t be a more fun dungeon encounter than Karlach’s evil, waxy twin busting through a wall.
Image credit:TTCOMBAT
Okay, one more. Check out this Owlbearfrom Zealot Miniatures.
Image credit:Zealot Miniatures
Now look at this actual bear from Wizkids:
Image credit:WizKids/Wotc
Yes, yes. Paint and glue. I know. Point still stands. This bear looks like it came from a bucket on the counter of a museum gift shop. If anyone from WizKids reads this then… 1. It’s satire. I’m writing about your stupid, defective products satirically, and 2. Do NOT send me any bears to try and prove their worth. I know where they’ve been.
